Courtney Rene lives in Ohio with her husband, two girls, her dogs Champion and Patch, her cat Luna, and a school of fish. She has been writing since she was a child and has learned many things along the way. Feel free to contact her at ctnyrene@aol.com
ANGEL IN THE NIGHT
By Courtney Rene
Death comes to us all. Maybe it comes loudly and with a bang. Or maybe it comes softly like music on the wind. It came for me in the night on a cold winter breeze.
A gallon of milk that was all I was thinking about, just a gallon of milk for my mom, who'd been sick for what seemed like forever. My boyfriend, Chip, and I trudged towards the Buzy-Mart.
"It's so freakin cold," I complained, shivering deeper into my warm black wool coat, "I hate winter." Chunks of my now damp brown hair had escaped the confines of my hat, and swirled around my face, tickling my cheeks and nose.
"It's not so bad," Chip said, "Look at the sky. It's so clear tonight, you can see the stars." He shot me the crooked smile I just loved and gave my gloved hand a squeeze.
He was right, there were a bazillion stars out. I didn't really care though, as in spite of it being clear, the wind was blowing already-fallen snow in my face. All I wanted to do was get to the store, get the stupid milk, and get home.
"Emma, we haven't had much time together lately. Enjoy the night. It's ours. Just you and me."
Chip was right, I knew he was, but I wasn't feeling it. I was tired. I was sad. I went to school all day, I worked all night, almost every night, and the spare time I had I spent helping out my mom at home. Plus, the weather was depressing me.
"Chip," I started, but then I felt it, a cold chill shivering down my spine, like someone was watching me. I stopped walking and looked around, but I didn't see anyone. The shadows though, they appeared to come alive. They shifted and moved before my eyes.
I took a step in closer to Chip. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was jumping at shadows.
"What is it, babe?" Chip asked.
I looked around us once more before answering, "I don't know. I just felt funny for a sec." I shrugged my shoulders once, and then we set off once more.
I tried to put the feeling away. I tried to believe that I was just scaring myself, but I could feel the dark oily presence hovering around us. It skipped noiselessly around in the dark. It made the air around me feel thick and smothering, hard to breathe in.
This section of the block was so dark. I hurried to get back into the light. The moon was out and shining as brightly as it could, but the night, the dark, it seemed dangerous now.
I could see the light from the store up ahead and I rushed us along even faster. I gave a quick look behind me, trying to find the danger that I was feeling, but nothing was there. My breath was coming out in smoky puffs, and I realized so was Chip's when he said, "Hey, slower down. What's the rush?"
I gave him a smile. It was fake, and wobbled a bit, but it was the best I could do with the rising terror closing in on me. "I just want to get back. Come on," I said tugging him along toward the safety of the light.
Just as I stepped into the light on the sidewalk, shinning out through the store windows, I felt something grip my coat by the scuff and yank me back. My foot hit a slick patch of ice and slid out from under me. I was falling. I felt the black smack of my head on the rough, salt covered sidewalk, and the world went dark.
An unexpected weight landed on my chest, pinning me to the cold ground. I looked up into a pair of endless deep black eyes. The face that went with the eyes was angelically beautiful. White blonde hair, a colorless face, and lips so red they looked blood kissed. He stared into my face, into my eyes, searching. For what, I don't know, but I could feel him searching around in my mind. It was not painful, but it was disconcerting, knowing he was seeing my life, all the good, the bad, and the embarrassing moments.
I don't know how I knew he was Death. Maybe he whispered it to my soul. Maybe my soul just recognized him for what he was.
"Why?" I whispered to him. I was asking why me, why now. Truthfully, I was wondering why not someone else.
"Why not?" He replied back, his unblinking eyes never leaving mine. Even his voice was sweet and lovely. How could something that represented such ugly darkness have so much beauty? I finally understood where the term 'Angel of Death' came from.
"Please." With that one word I was begging for everything. I was begging for a chance, for life.
Death leaned back from my face, cocked his head to the side and regarded me for a moment. Then he said, "You haven't been living for a while, Emma. You hide. You survive. But you are not living your life. You can't see the beauty in the world around you anymore. Why should I spare you, when you aren't thankful for the gift God has given you?"
I could have lied and said that was not true, but it was. He could see inside me, where I hid my sadness and hopelessness. He could see the defeat in me. I could not deny the truth of his words. How was I supposed to show death that although I was down, the world had not yet beaten me?
I wasn't ready to die. I wasn't ready to give up. I needed to show him my strong will, my true desire to make it through and find the beauty again in the world around me. Find life in the darkness.
"Please," I whispered again. He could see my thoughts, read my mind. He could see my will if he but chose to look. He leaned down close to my face, and I thought that was it.
"Wait," I said, in desperation. I placed my hand against what I thought was his chest, expecting to feel the beat of a heart inside a warm body. Instead, I found nothing but cold emptiness.
I closed my eyes, thinking of all the things I had yet to do. All the things I had yet to see. I wasn't willing to accept this fate. I wasn't!
I was ready to feel again, ready to know that I was alive. Ready to face my life head on, not shy away and hide. I had to find a way to make him see.
I felt the warmth of his breath slide over my cheek, and then the softest caress over my lips. With a new determination to live, I opened my eyes to stare deep into his icy depths, silently demanding he look inside me once again. He smiled at me. Just a slight lift of his lips, but it was a smile all the same.
The weight lifted from my chest along with the darkness, and with a shivery gasp, the world around me came alive and into focus. Chip knelt next to me on the cold pavement. His green eyes clouded with worry.
"Thank God! Thank God!" he said when our eyes connected. Then he buried his cold face against my neck and held me close for a moment.
I closed my eyes and breathed him in, his warmth, his solid embrace, him. When he sat back up, I looked at him and realized, "You have eyes the color of moss. They are very lovely. I never noticed that before."
Chip gave me a funny look and said, "You alright?"
I gave a small laugh at that, and said, "Yeah. I'm good."
After we got the milk, and were headed back home, I heard the word live, whispered on the wind.
Chip didn't hear it. I didn't expect him too.
But I did, and I would. No matter what the world dumped on me, I was going to live.